


Be Sweet To Me

by Over13



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Eliza is a bad ass who fights for her girls, F/F, F/M, Let's be honest, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Alex Danvers, Protective Kara Danvers, Protective Samantha "Sam" Arias, Rating Changed, Scared Lena Luthor, Soft Alex Danvers, Soft Kara Danvers, Soft Sam Arias, Tags May Change, and saddness, caffeine wrote this, lol, no cap, shit's coming, whole story could change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:40:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21859207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Over13/pseuds/Over13
Summary: Lena went missing. When she is finally found, something is...different. This was not the Lena Kara knew, but she is still in there-somewhere.Or: I am so stressed. Finals are the worst. My long ass paper is now 4 days late and 18 pages short, so logically I wrote this.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Querl Dox/Nia Nal, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers
Comments: 65
Kudos: 254





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I hope you are well. I hope you like this lil thing I wrote. If not you can tell me (like im baby but also want to know, ya know? for science or something). I'll write more (even if no one reads it cause yikes shit like this has taken over every notebook I have), I hope. Ok, thx, bi.

Alex sat on the couch with her back pressed against Sam’s side, their hands were intertwined, and Sam dropped sweet kisses to her cheeks every now and then. For the past few hours Alex let the warmth of her girlfriend distract her from the traditional game night activities. She had smiled, blushed, and giggled under Sam’s attention so happy to be warm and safe and close. Kara stood from the opposite end of the couch moving toward the kitchen, laughing boisterously at some joke of Winn’s. Alex’s eyes fell to the seat Kara just abandoned, to the young girl who sat just to the left of the vacant spot. Lena’s head was turned in the direction of the kitchen ignoring the Sorry game board in front of her. Her eyebrows were drawn, and she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. The corners of her mouth began to sag gently; her chin adopted a slight tremble.

“Your turn Alex!” James called.

She snapped herself out of the one-sided staring contest and looked back to the board, taking her turn quickly. Sam went next, then Winn. As he debated whether to bump one of Sam’s pieces back to start, Alex turned her attention back to Lena. She had tucked her legs under herself and gripped the back of the couch, staring intently at the doorway to the kitchen. Her shoulders rose unevenly, Alex couldn’t tell if she was exhaling. Alex felt Sam move beside her, reaching over to grab the die. She must have picked up on Lena’s odd behavior, it was Lena’s turn to roll but her attentions were elsewhere. After a prolonged minute, Kara walked back into the living room munching on freshly popped popcorn. Her eyes went to Lena but she had already turned around to face the board again still biting her lip and breathing unevenly; Alex quirked an eyebrow. A second ago Lena was trying to see through the slight kitchen wall between her and Kara but now that the blonde was back Lena looked ready to ignore her; she picked at her sleeve and focused on the Sorry board.

Kara sat next to Lena, bumping her lightly with her elbow. A sharp pain in her side had Alex swiveling her head. Sam gave her a pointed look, her delicate fingers still clutching a little spot of skin on Alex’s arm.

“Wha-“

“Stop staring.” She said though clenched teeth and a forced smile.

Alex didn’t want to call attention to herself or to Lena, so she stayed quiet and stopped trying to peek at her sister and the Luthor so obviously. She didn’t stop all together, she just attempted to be more sneaky about it, glancing as she reached for popcorn, the die, to swat at James when he tried to send her piece back to start and when she got up to grab a blanket for a chilly Sam. She passed Kara in the bathroom on the way back from the linen closet. Instead of calling out, Alex watched her. Kara stood in front of her open medicine cabinet, three orange bottles with white caps in her hands. Prescription bottles in her Kryptonian sister’s cabinet- strange. Kara expertly tapped one pill from two of the bottles into her cupped hand then carefully took two out of the last bottle. As she started to return the bottles to the shelve Alex moved quickly and quietly down the hall. She settled back into her seat seconds before Kara stepped out of the bathroom. She tried not to act suspicious, but the odd look Sam was giving her let her know she wasn’t succeeding. Kara sat down, sliding an arm behind Lena. The Luthor looked up at her, fingers stopped picking at her sleeve and started pulling gently at Kara’s. Kara held her cupped hand out to Lena, two white pills and two blue ones were just visible from Alex’s seat – it didn’t seem like anyone else could see what was happening, or maybe they didn’t want to.

Lena shook her head at Kara, eyebrows furrowing again. Kara tilted her head slightly, keeping eye contact with Lena. A deep red blush crawled up from the base of her neck, over her ears, and bled into her cheeks. She took the pills from Kara and lowered her mouth to the rim of the mug Kara had retrieved from the table; a few fingers came up to brush against the blondes’ hand that cradled the glazed clay. As Lena drank Kara tilted the cup, and a hand snaked up to hold the back of Lena’s neck keeping it still as Lena filled her mouth and swallowed gently. James and Winn were so enamored in the debate over what game to play next they didn’t notice, which left Alex and Sam to nudge at each other as if to ask, ‘are you seeing this too’. Lena moved her face away from the mug, letting her fingers fall away. Kara lowered the mug and wiped a few drops of water from her lips with her thumb, Alex’s eyebrows skyrocketed – Sam pressed her fingertips into Alex’ leg to keep her from saying anything.

“Hey instead of another game, why don’t we watch a movie? I just bought the sing along version of Tangled.” Kara said, leaning to place the mug on the coffee table.

James groaned and Winn tried to keep his face neutral.

“What about a movie that’s a little more for our age group like Suicide Squad or something?” Winn suggested.

He loved Kara and would probably do anything she asked of him but they had watched the sing along version of Frozen last week and Suicide Squad had Will Smith in it. Kara’s bottom lip poked out as she pulled her signature sad puppy face.

“Kara! That’s not fair! Don’t give me that look!” Winn turned his back to her as not to be guilt- tripped into agreeing.

She turned the face on James next who conveniently got a phone call. Kara’s eyes cut to Kara and Sam. Alex pulled the throw blanket tighter around the cozy woman that sat in her lap.

“I don’t really care but how about we find a happy medium, huh? What about Harry Potter? Magic and murder, it’s perfect.”

“But we watched Harry Potter last month!” James called from the kitchen, whiskey in hand and phone tucked back in his pocket.

“That was The Goblet of Fire, let’s watch Sorcerer’s Stone!” Kara chirped happily, trading one beloved move for another.

The others agreed and quickly moved into a debate about who would get the ice cream and who would que up the movie. Kara stayed out of this second discussion, choosing instead to dip her head closer to Lena’s. Alex saw the move and let her curiosity take over. She volunteered to get the ice cream when James’s job of starting the movie placed him in front of her view of the two girls. She moved swiftly from her seat but slowed as she passed just behind where they were seated, calling out to ask for flavor preferences in order to stall.

“Wanna’ go put your jammies on, sweetie?” Kara whispered.

Alex’s eyebrows shot to her hair line and her eyes widened. She looked at Sam, but she was busy trying to keep Winn and James from arguing too much about turning on the director’s commentary. When Alex returned from the kitchen, a single tub of half-eaten sugar-free vanilla in tow, Lena was nowhere to be seen. She glanced down the hallway, but the bathroom light was off. She redirected her attention, catching a sliver of light leaking through the crack in Kara’s bedroom door; a door Alex distinctly remembered being a heavy fabric tapestry last month.

“Here.” Alex grumbled shoving the ice cream into Winn’s chest.

“This isn’t chocolate chip. Sugar-free? Alex, I brought some edible ice cream with m-“

“Whatever, Schott.” Alex rounded on Kara, “Alright what the hell is going on between you and Lena?”

“Alex- “Sam began.

“No, that was weird Kara. You both have been acting really weird all night and I want to know why. Her, I may understand a bit, but not you. I mean your friendship has always been…strange but this is downright alien. No pun intended.”

“It’s not really any of your business Alex.”

“Why were you giving her those pills?”

“That’s enough Alex.” Kara tried again, growing frustrated. 

“And the thing with the water, can she not drink by herself?”

“Al-“

“Oh! And the ‘jammies’ comment? What the actual fu-“

“Ok stop! I said that was enough!” Kara stood to her feet, rounding the couch and looking down the hallway where Lena had disappeared.

“Sometimes Alex,” she whispered, “I swear to Rao.” She said under her breath.

“I think,” Sam said, stopping Alex from saying whatever cutting comeback she had on hand, “what Alex meant to say was that we noticed Lena acting a little strange when you weren’t in the room and among the other things Alex…observed-“

“You mean when she was being nosey and snooping?” Kara interrupted.

“Oh, you mean when I was concerned about the fact that my _alien_ sister had a cabinet full of drugs that she doesn’t need?!” Alex scoffed back. 

“Those aren’t even mine!” Kara hissed, leaning closer to Alex.

“I know that _now_ , I saw you give them to Luthor. Which begs the questions why does she need them and more importantly why are you the one giving them to her?”

“Like I said Alex that is none of your business-”

“Is she addicted? Is she trying to get you to support that? Is sh-“

“Stop Alex! What the hell, Lena is not a drug addict. Even if she was that would be her business and I would not discuss that with you without talking to her about it first.”

“It’s my business if she is involving my sister in her drug problem!” Alex’s voice rose, it was full of bitter hatred for the CEO.

She turned in the direction of Kara’s bedroom and went to take a step. Kara used her speed to rush in front of her – one foot still in the air. The sisters stared at each other. Alex crossed her arms and clenched her jaw. Sam watched Kara’s hands fold into trembling fists. She jumped forward, putting a hand on each Danvers sister.

“Let’s calm this down for a moment. Alex is not going to storm down there and confront Lena and Kara is not going to throw Alex into space for jumping to conclusions. Let’s everyone just take a seat, please.”

The tension that filled the room did not dissipate as they took up their places on opposite sides of the couch. Sam stayed standing between the two.

“Now maybe we can talk this out instead of just yelling at each other.” Kara took another glance down the hallway. Sam seemed to pick up on her immediate concern. “Alex,” she said turning to her girlfriend “you are going to stay quiet while I talk to Kara, ok?”

Alex opened her mouth to complain. “No. We don’t have a lot of time to do this so just cooperate. Please?” Alex melted a little, the way she always did when Sam looked at her so seriously. She gave a sharp nod and sank back into the couch. Sam turned to Kara who sat with an ear turned in the direction of her bedroom – her eyes tracked Alex.

“Kara. If something is going on with Lena, we want to help in any way we can. I know you said it is none of our business and I wouldn’t ask you to betray Lena’s confidence, but could you fill us in on anything? I wouldn’t ask you if I thought she would open up to us herself. It just seems like she is struggling and we want to make sure you both are safe.”

Kara took a second to listen to Sam’s heartbeat. She liked the woman, liked her as a friend and trusted her advice, but she would not allow her or anyone else to upset Lena – especially Alex. Sam’s heartbeat was steady, she was being sincere. She took in a deep breath looking around the room at her family; James and Winn sat cross-legged in front of the TV, their attention on Kara like Sam and Alex’s – their faces pictures of confusion.

“Well, Lena hasn’t actually recovered from when we caught Lillian.” Kara spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully.

She wasn’t sure what she could reveal. The one time Kara suggested Lena speak to someone, a therapist or another doctor, about what she was experiencing Lena refused and cried until she made herself sick. Lena’s heartbeat picked up. Kara had been listening for her as she went to change clothes. Kara heard the sink shut off and the shift of clothing. It wasn’t enough to suggest the girl had finished but it was enough to know they were running out of time.

“I found out that she hadn’t been sleeping or eating properly which is something she doesn’t do normally, I know, but this time it was bad enough that Jess was threatening to call for an ambulance. She called me instead, though Lena had been refusing to reach out to me-to anyone really, and I finally got her to go to the hospital. Turns out she had been walking around with broken ribs, a separated shoulder, concussion and punctured lung.”

Kara looked down at her lap, tears gathering in her eyes. “She was too afraid to go home so she had been staying in her office panic room. She’d shutdown L-Corp for a while, said she wanted to allow employees time to recover from any personal trauma her return may have brought with it,” Kara was up in a huff, swiping furiously at her cheeks. “Can you believe that? She’s the one that got kidnapped, she’s the one that’s scared and _hurt_ and yet all she’s offering to give _them_ paid time off-“

“Kara,” Sam tried. The Kryptonian had started pacing and her quick turns were whipping up a mini-tornado.

“They, they have the audacity to talk about her behind her back! They _insisted_ she had abandoned the company, the city! I can’t understand,” Kara’s voice rose the more she rambled. “She was _dying_ and they-“

“Kara!” Sam stood in her way. “Finish explaining, please.” Sam tried to be gentle, it was clear Kara was struggling too- but she was worried about Lena and they were running out of time.

Kara clenched and unclenched her hands. “Jess hadn’t heard from Lena in over a week so she went into the office to check on her, no one had been allowed in the building- her personal security couldn’t even get in.”

Alex’ brows rose at this. She had always held something against Lena for refusing DEO guards, always toting the might of her hired ex-seals; it was surprising that even they couldn’t get to the girl. 

“She couldn’t even recognize me when I first went to get her. She thought I was going to take her away and hurt her. She kept crying out for me to come and help her,” Kara’s tears spilled over “I kept telling her that I was there, that I came to help, but she just begged me not to hurt her and not to take her away.”

Alex moved to sit by her sister; she didn’t look at her, just stuck one hand out in her direction and waited for her to grab it. Kara did, needing Alex to keep her grounded while she continued to talk.

“I still don’t know everything Lillian did to her. The only time she’s allowed a doctor to look at her was when she was unconscious at the DEO. It was really bad, Alex- probably worse than we thought. She is so terrified all the time but she insists she’s fine. It took me a week to get her to speak to me without panicking and crying. She’s extremely fragile right now and the medicine just makes it worse. She needed someone to take care of her and I wasn’t going to force her into hospital, so she’s been staying here with me.”

Finally looking over Alex wiped away some of Kara’s tears, holding her face in her hands. “Kara if Lena is really bad off maybe she needs to be in a hospital.”

“No Alex! I won’t do that to her,” Kara moved her hands away. “She needs affection now, to know that she is safe and that someone is here to be strong for her when she can’t be. She can’t take care of herself right now so _I am_ going to do it for her.”

“Kar-“

“Look, I know. I know you don’t trust her completely but I do and she needs me.”

James grunted under his breath, “Lena Luthor doesn’t need anyone.” He still had bitter feelings about their breakup.

“Maybe she just didn’t need you,” Kara said bluntly. She knew that it would hurt his feelings but his feelings at the moment were not her concern.

Kara picked up on the sound of clothes shifting again. She looked around at everyone. Their faces were all downcast, save for James who looked offended. “She’s coming back soon; please don’t say anything to her.” She pleaded with her sister.

“Of course not Kar, but we have to talk more later on; I’m still not convinced about all of this.”

“Ok, ok,” Kara said looking down the hall. “Just, please.”

“What do you need from us tonight Kara?” Kelly questioned gently.

Kara looked at her watch, it was 9:15. “Not much. She refuses to step away from her work entirely and it makes her body even weaker, so I try to have her in bed and asleep by 10. The movie will do most of the work. I guess just watch the movie and act as you normally would.”

Sam gave a nod and moved to sit in her original spot on the couch. She opened her arms for Alex to come lean against her, then picked up the discarded grey throw blanket and wrapped it around them. Winn got comfortable on the floor with a spare couch pillow under his head; he pulled on James’ shoulder until the taller man reclined backward on his elbows. Winn eyed him warily; they had talked a little about his break up with Lena and at the time it seemed like James was fine with how they’d left it and ready to move on, now it was clear James was holding on to a few other feelings and maybe they would have to have another talk. 

Kara listened for Lena; she heard the slight squeak of the bedroom door opening wider.

“Oh,” she gasped. “And don’t make fun of her pajamas,” She spoke aloud just before Lena was in earshot.

She saw the young girl hovering at the edge of her peripheral vision. She turned her head and watched Lena fidget for a moment. Lena stood half hidden in the darkness of the hallway, one foot on the living room carpet. Kara went over to her, conveniently out of Alex’s line of view (but not out of her ear shot).

“We are going to watch Harry Potter, and then you can go to sleep ok?” Kara spoke gently.

She couldn’t see the two of them, but Alex imagined Kara had Lena’s face in her hands much like she’d held Kara’s. The thought caused an odd pull in her chest.

“No,” Lena mumbled in a whisper, “no sleep.”

“Lena, we’ve talked about this. You need to sleep.”

“Please. Pl-ease. N-no sleep. No.” Alex’s heart broke in time with the cracks in Lena’s voice.

“Ok honey. Calm down now,” Alex imagined Kara brushing tears from Lena’s cheeks just as she had brushed some from Kara’s so many times. “Will you at least come and sit with me? You don’t have to go to sleep if you don’t want to, but I would like for you to relax some more.”

Lena didn’t respond. The two were quiet for a moment. “What’s wrong Lee? Why don’t you want to watch with us?”

Again, Lena didn’t respond, at least not verbally. “Oh, baby girl, they won’t care that you’re in your jammies. It’s ok.” Lena must have pointed to herself.

That must have been enough to placate the young Luthor because seconds later Kara was dropping back into her seat and pulling Lena along with her. Lena’s ‘jammies’ were too cute for Alex to believe. Tiny white ghost pups covered the pajama bottoms; some had little pumpkin shaped bags in their mouths while others were wearing spider hats. Her long-sleeved tee shirt had a larger version of one of the spooky pups and a speech bubble that read ‘Boo-tiful’. Alex was sure these were something Kara bought, Lena Luthor had a very impressive wardrobe and she doubted it included pieces like that.

Kara kept an arm around Lena’s shoulders allowing her to turn slightly into Kara’s side. As the movie began Alex and Sam paid more attention to the two women opposite them than they did Harry and the Dursley’s.

Lena’s head started to droop after about a half hour. Kara gently gathered her into her lap. Lena lolled her head onto Kara’s shoulder, fitting her face into Kara’s neck just under her chin. Kara ran her fingers through her hair slowly, she could feel Alex and Sam’s eyes watching her, but her attention was focused on Lena. Lena looked pitiful in Alex’s opinion. She was used to seeing the heiress commanding the attention of those around her with a subtle air of intimidation; now Lena looked so young, so small curled up on her sister’s lap. Lena laid there looking up at Kara. Her eye lids fluttered; she was falling asleep. Kara looked down at her softly.

“You can sleep honey, its ok,” she whispered to her.

Winn picked up the remote and lowered the volume a few notches, while Alex slipped away to plug in the Christmas lights and turn off the standing lamps in the living room. Kara’s eyes caught hers and sent her a look of gratitude. Alex made her way back to her seat, choosing to cut behind the couch Kara was on rather than walk in front of her. This gave her a second to look closely at Lena. She could feel water well up in her eyes. Fat tears rolled lazily down Lena’s face. Her cheeks, nose and lips with tinged rosy red and she sniffled slightly. She had Kara’s sweater clutched in her hands. Her breathing was quick and uneven, eyes wide and searching.

“I’m not leaving, no one will take you away, it’s ok Lee.” Kara continued to soothe her.

She knew Lena would lose this battle against sleep as she had before. Lena was so rest broken, as soon as her body felt it was safe it shut down, it didn’t matter that she was terrified – her brain decided she’d had enough. Lena’s eyes drooped lower and lower, they slipped shut and she struggled more and more each time to force them back open. It wasn’t working. She was too tired. Alex sat again, shifting Sam until the women leaned against her. She wrapped her arms around her and buried her face in her shoulder, trying to get the look in Lena’s eyes out of her head. Lena let out a few high-pitched grunts, Kara held tighter.

“You can sleep, I’ll be here. Shh, love. Just sleep.” Kara pulled Lena a little closer before reaching for a thick green blanket; it had a large image of Totoro stitched into it.

She draped it over Lena, tucking it gently around them both allowing Lena to hide her face completely from view. Kara brushed the hair away from Lena’s forehead and dropped her lips to rest there. She rocked them gently for another few minutes, keeping the connection. She stopped after a while and everyone sat in silence. Winn looked at his phone.

“10 o’clock on the dot.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i'm pretty dang sad rn but i hope your day has been ok. if not no worries, just grab some water and get some sleep bb. 
> 
> oh, i also wrote some more. k,thx *double finger guns*

Winn and James shoved at each other jokingly as they put on their jackets. Sam wrapped Alex in a hug and giggled as the redhead snuggled into her shoulder.

“Are you going to be ok?” Sam muttered against her hair.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m going to stay a little longer and hopefully talk with Kara some.”

“Ok, well you can call me later if you need to talk. I’ll be up for a while.”

“Hey, don’t start overworking yourself, alright,” Alex ran her hands over Sam’s back, clasping them together around her waist. “Lena may be taking on too much but that is not your fault. You don’t need to prove anything now that we know she is still hurt.”

“I know,” Sam sighed. “It’s just- I used to know everything about her. I used to know when she wasn’t sleeping and when the nightmares were back. When she was isolating and starting to spiral. I- I should have known she was lying, I should have known she wasn’t ok.”

“Babe,” Alex whispered. She squeezed Sam close. “You cannot blame yourself. Lena could have reached out to us if she wanted to. You have a lot on your plate right now and frankly, it makes sense to me why you wouldn’t have noticed. Lena is a great liar and a wonderful manipulator; she hid what she wanted to. We’ll get her the help she needs but you cannot take responsibility for her recovery, that’s got to be all on her.”

“Aly,” Sam bit out in frustration, shaking her head. “I love you, but, god, please – _please_ don’t say shit like that when you talk to Kara.”

“What?” Alex pulled a face. “I’m not saying she hid it on purpose, ok, it’s obvious she’s had a lifetime of training that made her instinctually lie. As a Luthor-“

“No,” Sam snapped. “Just, stop. Look, you cannot press your opinions right now. I know you want to protect Kara, I know you do and you do such a wonderful job,” Sam smoothed her hands over the back of Alex’s neck, scratching at the growing hairs lightly. “But Kara canno- no, _will not_ hear that from you right now. If Lena is allowing Kara to show her this much attention in front of everyone, if she is _that_ hurt-“Sam sputtered to a stop, sucking in air quickly. “If you want Kara to talk to you, _you_ need to listen.”

Alex looked ready to protest. “Alex,” Sam warned. “You know nothing about Lena other than what’s in her DEO file and even that has been influenced by L-Corp. Kara knows her like I know her,” Sam dropped her hands and her head while stepping out of Alex’ reach. “Apparently better than I know her,” she shook her head. “Just listen to her, please. If not for you, then for Kara, and if not for her then listen so you can come and tell me. I need her to be ok, Alex.”

Sam leaned forward and pressed her lips to Alex’. It was quick and then she was gone, pulling the door closed behind her. Alex dropped her hands from where they hung in the air. She had always thought it odd, Sam and Lena’s relationship. Theirs was similar to that of her and Kara’s, in a way, at least that’s what she understood from the little Sam had offered up about it. Alex knew the two of them met in high school, around Sam’s senior year. They had been fast friends, Lena being a Luthor and Sam getting pregnant shortly after graduation meant the two had plenty of space to get to know each other – shunned by the masses, and built a strong bond able to withstand those who sought to abuse and harm them.

But, sometimes, Sam took up for Lena the way she did for Ruby. Sometimes on nights when Ruby was busy and all Alex wanted was to crawl into bed with her girlfriend, she would come home to Lena sobbing frantically in Sam’s lap. Sometimes she would surprise Sam with lunch at L-Corp and walk in on a sleepy Lena cuddled against her friends’ side accepting the fruits and small bits of pasta pressed against her lips. Sam treated Lena the way Alex had seen her treat Ruby, in some ways Sam treated Lena the way Ruby would no longer allow her to.

Kara’s return to the living room brought her out of her line of thought. She’d left the door to her room cracked just enough for the twinkling lights of the living room to mix with the glow of the fairy lights hung above her bed. From the hall she could see the top of Lena’s head as it poked out from under a mountain of blankets. Kara gave a sigh as she rounded the back of the couch and plopped down next to her sister. They sat in silence for a moment, not looking at each other.

“I-Is she ok now?” Alex asked gently.

“She’s sleeping if that’s what you mean.” Kara pushed all the air from her lungs. “But yes she is alright for now, her heart is beating like it should and her breathing is slow.”

Kara had a far off look in her eye as she trained her ears on the unconscious girl in her bed.

“So, can you tell me anything else?” Kara looked frustrated; brows bunched together-Alex threw up a hand, “I’m not going to accuse her of anything, I promise! I only want to know as much as you can tell me. Kara, I just want to know that you are safe.”

Kara sat in silence for another second before shifting slightly in Alex’s direction.

“I’ve already told you that she isn’t able to take care of herself right now.”

“Yeah, I know, but that’s part of what I don’t get. L-Corp may be closed at the moment and Lena may have just returned from being missing for six months but they’ve also just had their best quarter in three years. They haven’t stopped producing; in fact they’ve unveiled two new tech products and three new medical trials just this past week. Lena is literally a machine; the woman hasn’t taken a break since you brought her back!”

Alex’ breathing had picked up a little so she took a second to calm herself and remember what Sam said.

“It just, it just doesn’t match up for me, Kar. Do, do you see why that’s a little confusing?”

“I do,” Kara sighed. “I get it Alex but that’s part of the problem. She’s distracting herself, won’t let herself stop. I think she knows the second she does, the second she allows herself to rest she’ll have to deal with those feelings. She’ll remember everything that happened while that woman had her and she can’t handle it so she’s pushed everything away other than what she’s working on in the lab.”

Alex stayed quiet, holding her tongue and stopping her from saying what she wanted. Instead she muttered out, “How far gone is she?”

“I-it’s bad Alex, really bad. She is so scared, so unsure. Every time she wakes up I have to remind her that she isn’t back in that bunker, that Lillian isn’t waiting somewhere around a corner. She won’t eat or drink without being told, won’t get out of bed unless told, and throws fits when I tell her it’s time to leave the lab. The night terrors are debilitating and she can’t wake herself from them. She’s taking so many different pills to keep so many things in check but they are making her sick instead of really helping. Last night she was so worried she didn’t have permission to go to the bathroom that she vomited on herself and sat in the corner for hours until I woke up.” Kara took a shuttering breath, “T-there’s more b-but I can’t tell you any of it without checking with her.”

Alex schooled her features and took in a deep breath. She was trying to keep her emotions in check. Anger overtook her suspicion and pervaded every alcove in her mind- if she ever got her hands on Lillian Luthor hell would gain another demon.

“Kara that’s – I mean, how- Are you ok?”

“I will be, once I know she is.” Kara looked to her sister, her eyes tinged with tears.

“What can I do?” Alex asked after wrapping her sister in her arms.

“I’m actually really glad you asked. She’s been here for a week and I’ve kept her from really asking about her lab at L-Corp but I know she wants to be there. I’d really rather not leave her on her own quite yet, I’ve had to leave her once a couple days ago and by the time I was back she was in the middle of a full blown panic attack.”

“Ok and what does that have to do with me?”

“Well, if you could lookout for her while I’m not around then I think she would make more progress.”

Alex looked at her warily. “I don’t know Kar. Like you said Lena is in a delicate state right now and we aren’t that close, I’m not sure being left with me would be best. What about Sam, they’re good friends right?”

Kara wrung her hands, “Uh, Lena doesn’t really want to be around Sam too much right now.”

She continued when she saw Alex preparing her defense, “Please Alex? I can’t tell you why right now and I really think getting her comfortable around other people without me there will help get her agree to therapy and she won’t get any better without talking to someone. I know you think she won’t be able to handle it but if I tell her, _show_ her that I trust you she will too.”

“And you’re sure about that? You’ll just tell her I’m ok and she’ll believe it whole heartedly?”

“I think so Alex, she trusted me when I told her you, Winn, and James wouldn’t try to hurt her tonight.”

“She thought we were going to-“

“Sometimes she still thinks I’m going to.”

“Kar-“

“It’s not as often as when I first brought her home but sometimes, sometimes when it has been a particularly rough day or night she…she can’t recognize me.” Kara ended on a whisper, waiting for her sister to chime in again.

“I- damn Kara,” she whispered, “Of course I will help in any way I can but this sounds so much bigger than anything we will be able to handle on our own.”

“I won’t admit her.” Kara shifted abruptly, ready to stand to her feet. Alex kept her in place with a hand on her shoulder.

“I know, I know. While I do mean that we need professional help, I don’t think hospitalization is the best thing for Lena right now. I was actually talking about Kelly.”

Kara’s crinkle made a swift entrance, “I don’t know…”

“We only have to tell her what you told me and we can check with Lena about it too but I really think she could help. I know she would be willing.” Kara still didn’t look convinced. “And if that medicine is making her as sick as you say, then it’s doing more harm than good. I can tell you if it’s making her body react poorly but I can’t tell you if it is affecting her conscious mind and I have no clue what other meds would work.”

Kara thought a minute trying to weigh the outcome of bringing Kelly into the loop. She had nothing against the younger Olsen sibling but she’d only met her in person once and that was before Lena and James had gotten together and broken up.

“Maybe,” she said after a while, “but not until after I see how she does staying with you. I don’t want to push too much and risk her reverting.”

“I agree. Anyway how is she going to stay with me? I can’t exactly drop everything and go to L-Corp whenever you can’t be with her, and what about CatCo? Don’t you have to go in?”

“Well I figure if Sam doesn’t mind running L-Corp for a little longer then maybe we can set Lena up in one of the DEO labs and, uh I-I actually called Cat.”

Alex’ eyebrows shot up, “Really?”

“Yeah, she actually texted me the week after Lena went missing to see what leads we had. I kept her up to date and last week I called and asked her if she would mind taking up her role as CEO again- just until Lena is ready to go back.”

“But hasn’t James been running things?”

Kara looked a little uncomfortable, “Well after his outing as Guardian and the whole weird fake alliance with Agent Liberty people at CatCo have been…less willing to work under him.”

Alex flailed her hand, telling Kara to continue. “We’ve tried to explain, tried to tell them why Guardian would even meet with them but because I can’t back it up as Supergirl all they see is their boss in a costume hanging out with domestic terrorists. Some people’s fears are well founded, they aren’t sure how deep his affiliation goes and they worry about where his values lie, but others are using the confusion as an excuse to lash out about assignments they haven’t liked. They’re calling him biased against aliens and alien supporters. More recently people have started not coming in out of fear or dislike and its getting out of hand. Cat is just going to help out until Lena is back on her feet and can confirm James’ authority and commitment. She’s also told HR I am running point on a new CatCo documentary about L-Corp and am exclusively working with Lena’s office for the foreseeable future.”

Alex huffed out a breath. “Wow. Ok. Wow.”

“You already said that you goof.”

“I’m sorry; it’s just a lot to take in.”

They sat in silence. Kara listened in on Lena asleep in her bed. Her breathing was still even and she wasn’t fidgeting at all.

“I-I’m glad you’re gonna help Alex.”

Alex reached over and pulled Kara into another hug, “I will always be here to help you sis.”

The two sisters sat holding each other, each starting to drift into a drowsy stupor. A gentle grunt and soft rustle brought Kara back to attention. She pulled away from Alex and stood to her feet.

“Would you mind staying tonight?”

“Sure Kar.”

The Kryptonian cocked her head to the side; Alex quickly put two and two together.

“Is she alright?”

“Her breathing is starting to pick up but she isn’t awake. I think she’s realized that I’m not there. I’m gonna head in, you know where everything is.”

“Yeah Kara, I’ve got it. Go check on her.”

“Thanks Al, really.”

Alex gave her a small smile and watched her disappear behind her new bedroom door. The smile slipped quickly from her lips as the blonde moved out of sight. She sat heavily on the couch pulling out her phone and opening her thread of messages with Sam.

_A: Sammy_

_S: What’s up honey?_

_A: It’s bad, worse than I thought_

_S: Alex…_

_A: Can’t say much but we’ll need help_

_S: Will she come back? Can we bring her back to us?_

_A: I hope so, I really do._

_S: I love you_

_A: I love you too, so much ~~~~_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. sorry. here is this...thing.

Alex woke to rapid vibrations under her cheek. She pulled her phone out from under her pillow and slapped the screen to turn the alarm off. She sat up slowly, stretching her arms high above her head and taking a few deep breaths. She turned toward the kitchen expecting to see Kara prepping an epic breakfast feast but all she saw was the empty counter tops. Making her way over left her more confused, there was no coffee brewing. Though Kara didn’t drink the stuff often she always had a fresh pot going the morning after Alex stayed over. In fact there was no sign that her sister had been up yet. That was odd; Kara was an early riser.

Alex glanced down the hallway to the cracked door leading into Kara’s bedroom; maybe she and Lena were still asleep. That was something to investigate-after she relieved her bladder.

After washing her hands and brushing her teeth, Alex headed back to the kitchen to make some breakfast for the three of them. Well at least some coffee for herself, maybe she would order food instead, she doubted Lena would want to eat burnt toast and runny eggs. She was passing Kara’s door when she heard a low voice.

“…I know sweetie, I know. It’s ok. It’s only when someone needs Supergirl, I can’t take you with me-it wouldn’t be safe if I did. Alex will take care of you. She won’t let anyone or anything hurt you and you can stay in the lab all day if you want to.”

“No, she won’t hurt you either.” Lena wasn’t responding loud enough for Alex to hear but she could pick up a few tearful sighs.

“Yes, I will always come back to you. No one will take you away again; no one will put you in the dark again.”

There were a few more sniffles before feet could be heard making contact with the wooden floor. 

“Thank you pretty baby, all I need you to do is try. Now are you ready for some food? How about a little fruit this morning, hmm, what’d ya say?”

Alex made her way back to the couch. She quickly folded her sheet and blanket moving them and the pillows she used over to the window ledge, stacking them haphazardly before returning to her seat. As she sat Kara stepped into the living room with Lena in tow. The young Luthor was still in her pajamas and had a stuffed tiger tucked underneath her arm. Kara led Lena around the back of the couch Alex sat on stopping in front of the two-seater adjacent to her. Alex watched Lena, she didn’t meet her eyes but she must have known she was being watched. Her hand in Kara’s squeezed so tightly Alex could see the knuckles turning white and she brought her tiger up to hide her chin. They sat together, Lena turning her body toward Kara staring down at their entwined hands.

Kara and Alex talked rambled about nothing for a while, trying to make Lena a little more relaxed. Alex kept watching Lena; she was still warry about agreeing to watch over the Luthor and wanted to hear her agree to this directly. Kara cleared her throat. She lifted her free hand to Lena’s chin, raising her head so their eyes could meet.

“I’m going to go get breakfast started, sit here with Alex for a while ok?”

Lena’s eyes cut from Kara’s to Alex, widening when she was the redhead staring back. Alex looked away quickly, hoping to give the girl some semblance of privacy.

“Go with you,” Lena whispered after a second.

“No Lee, you can see me in the kitchen from right here. Just sit with Alex a little, I want you to get used to being around her again.”

Alex took a glance at the two of them. Lena had scrunched her legs up on the seat and tucked her tiger between her knees and her chin. Her hands were curled in fits around the bottom of the sweatshirt Kara wore. Her head swung back and forth slowly, her entire body trembled.

Kara dropped a kiss to her forehead before standing and carefully pulling Lena’s hands from their vice grip on her clothes. She stood by the arm of the couch; it took everything in her not to sit down again when Lena reached out to her. Alex looked to Kara; the blonde inclined her head in Lena’s direction hoping her sister would get the hint. Thankfully she did. Alex stood from her own couch and moved slowly over to Lena, stopping a step or two away from her. She dropped into a squat near Lena’s side and watched. Lena didn’t look at her; her eyes were trained on a retreating Kara who was talking small steps backwards toward the kitchen. Every step seemed to bring more tears to Lena’s eyes; the trembling got worse.

“H-hey Lena. Is it ok if I come and sit next to you?” Alex didn’t get an answer. She looked over to Kara for a cue but the blonde was in the kitchen grabbing things from the fridge; Alex was on her own. She moved a little closer, still crouched and waited again. Lena was hyper focused on the kitchen; she had begun digging her nails into the back of her hand though she didn’t seem to notice. Alex made a decision. She got up from her crouch and sat in the spot Kara occupied a few moments before. Lena’s eyes snapped to her face, the panic in them clear and her tears started to fall.

“Hey, hey, shh you’re alright. You know me Lena. I am Alex Danvers, I am Kara’s sister. I am not going to hurt you, ok.”

“Ka-Kar-a.” Lena gasped softly.

“Yeah, yeah Kara, that’s right. She asked me to help look after you; to help keep you safe when she isn’t here. Do you remember her telling you that?”

Lena gave a small nod. “Ok, good. When Kara was talking to me about moving you into one of the labs at the DEO. Do you remember the DEO?” the CEO gave her a look which made her chuckle.

“I’m just checking. Well, there are going to be a lot of people you don’t know or don’t recognize there but I promise you everyone in that building’s top priority will be to keep you safe while you are there. No one will have access to the lab aside from me and Kara and you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to. Is that something you would be willing to try?”

Lena continued to watch Kara, seemingly afraid to look at Alex again. She took a few slow breaths before nodding slowly.

“Try,” she whispered “will try.”

Eventually breakfast was ready. Lena had shut down a little after agreeing to their new plan and Alex wasn’t about to push her any further. The three of them sat around Kara’s kitchen island, Lena had her stool pulled close to Kara’s-their arms brushing gently. After a panful of eggs and three plates of bacon and hash browns, Kara let her fork drop. Alex finished off her more modest meal of dry toast and a few fried eggs while her eyes flicked from Lena to the bowl in front of her and over to Kara. Kara caught her sisters gaze and quirked an eyebrow, prompting Alex to stare pointedly at Lena’s bowl. Kara frowned. She gently pushed the bowl a little closer to Lena and waited for her to start eating the various sliced fruits. Lena didn’t reach for them. Kara slid an arm over Lena’s shoulders, running a hand over her hair and down her back.

“Eat Lee,” she whispered to the younger girl.

Lena took a second then quickly began popping fruits into her mouth. She ate with gusto, chewing only a few times before swallowing and selecting another piece. When the bowl was half empty (Alex took note of how only the grapes and raspberries were left) Lena folded her hands into her lap and looked up at Kara. She hopped up using her speed to run to the fridge, drop an ice cube down the back of Alex’ shirt, grab Lena’s morning meds from the bathroom and her tiger from its place on the arm of the couch before slipping back on to her stool.

Alex cursed, shaking the rapidly melting cube out of her shirt and tossing it in the sink. She huffed out a chuckle at her sisters’ boisterous laughter. It filled the room and wiped away the rest of the sleep resting on her tired bones. Alex opened her mouth to say something to the girl who always found it oh so funny to drop cold things on her but was stopped by an unexpected high pitched giggle. Alex tried her hardest to sneak a peek at Lena without her knowing and allowed her small smirk to transform into a full blown grin when she saw Lena’s eyes bright and cheeks flushed. Alex tossed her crumpled napkin at Kara hitting her square in the face. She let out a surprised squeak causing Lena’s shoulders to shake with a new round of giggles. Kara watched her laugh; she was happy to see Lena relaxing a little in Alex’ presence.

Kara subtly set an open bottle of Ensure in front of Lena and pushed her tiger into her lap. She popped a blue metal straw into the bottle while asking Alex what her plans for the rest of the day were. Lena cuddled the stuffed animal to her chest immediately then dipped her mouth to connect with the straw. She sipped at the beverage diligently, only pausing to look curiously at Kara. The sisters talked jovially as Lena continued to drink, Kara rubbing gentle reassuring circles on her back. Lena finished up, receiving a ‘good girl’ and quick kiss to her forehead from Kara. Lena beamed under Kara’s praise, her eyes closed as she sighed softly. When she opened her eyes again she was looking right at Alex, who in turn was looking right back. Lena’s smile began to slip as she straightened her spine and popped up from her seat. She dashed away towards Kara’s bedroom. The two sisters looked at each other with fear in their eyes. Kara stood to run after the girl when they saw her stop in her escape and turn back to them.

“S-show-wer, pluh-please.” Lena picked at a loose string on the back of her tigers head-waiting.

“Of course sweetie,” Kara spoke.

Alex and Kara watched Lena dart off further down the hall. Neither spoke as they waited for the bathroom door to close and the shower to start. Kara eyed Alex, watched her as she stared off down the hallway.

“If I’m going to do this,” she said lowly, “if I’m going to help you take care of her, I need to know what she’ll need.”

“Of course Alex.”

“Even if it seems awkward, I mean everything you do for her. I don’t want to take a chance that something goes wrong when you’re not around and I can’t help.”

Kara stood and gathered her sister into her arms, smooshing her face into the older woman’s shoulder. Alex wrapped her arms around Kara’s waist and let the blonde settle in. Yesterday, when she was still in the dark, Alex would have done all she could to get Kara to agree to sending Lena to the hospital. Now, well now Alex saw what Kara must have. No, this wasn’t the same Luthor CEO that filled her little sisters’ office with flowers or spent almost $800 million to save her friends job from an egomaniacal man-child, but that woman was still in there. She may have been hidden behind layers of fear and trauma but Lena Luthor was still there and maybe, just maybe, they could get her to come out again.

\\\\\\\

Another two weeks or so passed before Kara’s luck ran out and Supergirl was needed. Kara sat on the couch holding a sleepy Lena. In the last couple days Kara had started taking Lena outside on walks, attempting to re-acclimate her to public spaces and crowds of strangers while also redirecting her attention from hiding away in her lab. The Luthor heiress was still stubborn about taking naps and resting during the day. She was getting stronger, beginning to eat more on her own, and even picked up a few self-soothing habits that lessened the panic she felt whenever Kara would leave a room. She was making progress but still had a ways to go. The walks tired her out, not alarmingly so, but just enough that a nap was inevitable.

Lena’s head dipped and bobbed as she tried to stay awake. Kara had her living room windows open to allow some fresh air in and the slight chill prompted her to wrap Lena in the fluffiest blanket she owned. Both Lena and her tiger were huddled against the Kryptonian’s chest, Kara’s body heat and the warmth of the blanket caused Lena to drift further. Lena had caught on to what Kara was doing last week. She would never outright say that Lena _had_ to go to sleep; she would ask if Lena wanted cuddles and let her calming presence do the rest. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to sleep, in fact she was exhausted; there were days when the ache behind her eyes brought her to tears, when Kara had to work that much harder to keep her in the present. Those days she hated sleep, hated even the idea of closing her eyes and being shunted off back into the dark.

Her breathing picked up just thinking about it; how cold it was, how she had screamed and screamed until her head pulsed and throat burned, how it smelled…that god awful stench. Kara’s phone vibrated on the table next to them startling her out of her memories. She let her head drop the rest of the way to Kara’s shoulder; recently the phone ringing meant someone was coming over and Lena was tired, she just wanted to sleep with the sun in her face and Kara rubbing her back.

“Hey Alex!” Kara greeted her sister.

Lena sat in her lap shoulders tense, the older Danvers sister still made her feel nervous. Even though Alex had been perfectly pleasant when helping Lena and Kara set up one of the DEO labs, Lena still felt like Alex was just waiting for her to slip up, waiting for her to prove she was a threat to Kara. She couldn’t hear what she was saying but if the appearance of Kara’s forehead crinkle was any indication the news must not be great.

“How bad is it?” Kara asked before going quiet again. She cursed under her breath-if you could call aggressively saying ‘French toast’ a curse. “I’m on my way.”

Lena wanted to cry. Kara pulled the blanket away from where it was tucked around her legs but stopped before it was completely off of Lena.

“Ok Lee, I’ve got to go help NCPD so we are going to go to the DEO. Can you grab your shoes and coat for me?” Kara spoke gently.

She could see the tears accumulating in Lena’s eyes. She smoothed her hair and kissed her head before pulling the blanket the rest of the way off. Lena knew if Alex was asking Kara to come in the situation must be dire but that didn’t make it any easier to get up. She didn’t want to make Kara upset so as quickly as she could she stumbled to the door and sat on the cold wooden floor to put on her shoes. She didn’t realize she was crying until the tears splashed on her laces. She bit at her lips trying to stay quiet. Red boots appeared in front of her. Her eyes followed them up as they gave way to blue synthetic material. Kara crouched before her softly brushing under her eyes.

“Breathe sweet girl, deep breaths. We’re just going to the lab.” Lena tried to follow her instructions, tried to tell herself that Kara wasn’t abandoning her that she wasn’t trying to get rid of her but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Kara quickly tied her other shoe and coaxed her arms into her coat. She grabbed Lena’s tablet and laptop off of the bench by the door and shoved them into a black backpack before slinging the whole thing over her shoulder. Lena reached out for her and Kara lifted the woman into her arms.

“Hold tight,” Kara whispered.

Lena kept her eyes clenched tight and hid her face as best she could, continuing to cry even as they touched down inside the DEO.

“Supergirl,” Alex huffed, “they need you now. The perp is a shapeshifter and has hostages.”

Her eyes flicked over Lena’s back, silently asking her sister for a clue as to what state she was in. She could hear her crying but as she watched Lena dropped her legs, clinging to Kara as she tried to steady herself on her feet. Other agents were starting to notice that it was a Luthor Supergirl had brought in and wandered closer. Lena roughly swiped at her face with her palms causing her eyes to redden. She wiped her hands down the front of the sweater she wore and straightened her spine. Alex watched as a sort of veil came over Lena’s face. She once again looked like the ice princess so many people referred to her as. Her gaze was cold and calculating as she stood by Kara. The severity of the arch in her eyebrow deterred most of the curious agents, but not all. Alex could see the hesitation in Kara’s face, she didn’t want to leave Lena so upset but she had to go.

“Go,” Alex said stepping closer to the two “take her to the lab and get downtown.” Kara gave a sharp nod and rushed off.

Alex walked over to where Brainy paced in front of a wall of screens. He passed his tablet to her; the security camera footage of Lena’s lab was playing. They watched as Kara sat Lena on the couch and spoke to her for a second. Lena started pushing at Kara’s shoulders pointing to the window-telling her to go. Kara looked back once before leaping out of the window and taking off, NCPD radio chatter picked up again as news of Supergirl’s arrival spread.

Alex looked back to Lena; she had moved off of the couch and sat against the wall under the window. Her legs were pulled into her chest and she sobbed openly. Her body shook almost violently and after a moment she scrambled for the waste bin to empty her stomach. Alex watched her back arch sharply as she heaved, she was thankful the volume was turned down. Lena stopped vomiting. She lowered herself to the ground again, curling up on her side and continuing to cry. Alex could see her mouth moving, she turned the volume up making sure it was connecting to her earpiece and not playing aloud for the entire command center to hear. Lena was whispering to herself.

“I-I am L-le Lena Lu-Luthor. I am Lena Luthor…c-coming b-back, sh-she i-is c-coming back. N-no-not l-leaving me, not l-leaving Lena.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. hope you are well. take care of yourself.  
> here's a thing, pls bare with me. the sun hurts. ok, bye.

_An alarm rang. Lena woke with a gasp; her chest was tight and her head pounding. She was standing upright, her arms at her sides. There was a blinding fluorescent light above her, shining out of whatever ceiling made up this cage she was trapped in. Her eyes whirled wildly, the red flash of the alarm blurred and bled into the white light – her stomach turned, tears gathered._

_“Stop. Calm down,” she thought to herself. “You’ve been taken before. Do not cry. Think.”_

_She tried her arms first, slowly bending them at the elbows and slightly rolling her shoulders. Her arms rose until the backs of her hands hit what felt like a metal wall not too far from her hips. Lena flipped her hands over allowing her palms to brush against the barrier, two more walls to her left and right blocked her in and she could feel the study sheet at her back. Her legs, though unbound, were tingling with pins-and-needles. She rolled her shoulders again, bracing against the sting of two sharp objects biting into her arms as she did. Whatever she was in must have sustained damages; one jagged piece of metal dug gently into her left elbow when she stood still and tore violently when she moved, another twisting piece scratched incessantly at the back of her right shoulder –its edge burrowed deeper with every breath._

_The light above her began to flicker. Independent generator must be running low; maybe the DEO had already found her and were fighting against whoever took her. The light flickered again. She looked up, squinting in pain, taking a moment to breathe. She felt like she would vomit, could feel the saliva pool in her mouth._

_“Control it. Pay attention. Everything is a clue.”_

_Lena concentrated. Her stomach rolled and her head seemed to be getting worse but her breathing hadn’t increased since she woke. The cell was getting air, not much but some – at least she wouldn’t suffocate anytime soon. The sides of her prison were welded together, no hope there without the full use of her hands. No, the light would be her best bet. If she could somehow get the fixture out of the way and expose some of the wiring she may have a way to let herself out. There wasn’t a huge distance between the top of her head and the light but she would still need to get closer, she would have to get her hands free –somehow. She waited a moment, trying to psych herself up. Then she moved. Using what little mobility her hands possessed and a rocking shoulder movement, Lena tried to push herself higher. The cage reacted, those gnarled pieces of metal protested and cut deep. Lena continued on for as long as she could stand it, she could feel her blood starting to seep into her clothing – the pain was growing and she wasn’t getting any closer to her goal._

\\\\\\\

“We’ve got her back. The new upgrade to Lena’s kryptonite reflector is working, Supergirl is holding.” Brainy’s eyes were fixed on the wall of screens, his fists tightened behind his back. His adrenaline was coursing too high in his veins. He was too-

“Any news on Man Hunter? Has Dreamer cleared the docks yet?” Alex’s voice returned his attentions to the forefront. He cleared his throat, eyes cutting across the room.

“Yes, he’s just arrived. The docks are clear and Dreamer is working with NCPD to put out a number of grease fires the shape shifter started.” He stepped away from Alex huffing out a short breath. ‘Keep it together Querl,’ he chastised himself.

He turned swiftly in a small half circle and moved back towards the Director. “Supergirl, remember there is a 12.34 second recharge cycle the shape shifter has to go through before changing form. In that time you only have the small recoil from their sonic cannon to contend with.”

“Got it,” the heroine grunted over the coms, narrowly escaping another beam of blue.

J’onn flew past her, distracting the shifter and giving the Kryptonian a short reprieve. Brainy watched the tension in Alex’s shoulders increase, her muscles still visible to him under her uniform, were coiled. The Director was always more on edge with Kara in the field but the anxious energy she gave off at the moment was not just over her sister. This went beyond worry for the Super; no, Brainy could smell stark fear rolling off of the older Danvers. His hands tightened around his wrists; he could feel his skin stretch over his knuckles. Brainy gritted his teeth and tried to slow his breathing.

He had gotten better at balancing Alex’s worries with his own while at work, but it still took a great deal of concentration to stay as objective and analytical as he was expected to. Today was proving to be one of those days where that seemed impossible. His wrists ached from his grip, from his attempt at control. Alex’s apprehension was overloading his already full emotional capacities. Brainy watched Alex’s profile. Kara, J’onn and Nia were doing well. The shifter was well on its way to being captured and Nia had managed to prevent a preschool and animal shelter from catching fire.

Their current situations no longer warranted the amount of worry and attention Alex was producing. Her fingers twitched. Brainy locked on to the slight shake, invisible to the human eye. The tablet he had handed her was tilted toward her chest, just enough so she couldn’t see it at a glance. He moved closer to her, taking a moment to ensure none of the other agents were listening in.

“Director,” he began.

“She’ll be done soon. She can deal with it then. Everything will be fine.”

Alex didn’t look at Brainy but her hands closed around the sides of the tablet, rubbing nervously at one edge. They watched the feed of Kara’s fight for another moment, the exasperation on her face was clear. A twinge hit Brainy; he needed to get Alex to act.

\\\\\\\

_She stopped, panting, waiting for the ache to lessen. Her head tipped forward, knocking against the fourth wall. She watched the flashing red light. It was blinking rapidly, beating out its frantic warning. Lena took slow deep breathes and allowed her eyes to adjust. The alarm light was becoming clearer; she could just make out the panel it was attached to. There was a shadow blocking some of the light it was giving off. It, like the alarm, was blurred almost to the point of invisibility by the light within her cage._

_She gave her head a gentle shake, tilting it from side to side as much as she could. With a deep breath, she righted herself again and tried to focus once more. This time she concentrated on the shadow. It was a bigger than the alarm panel and seemingly pretty steady, perhaps a bit closer as well. Lena continued to breathe deep, trying to stop the shaking in her hands. The blood that clung to her clothes was beginning to cool. She rested her head once more on the glass before her deciding that if her face was physically closer she would see everything better. She closed her eyes sparingly, allowing them to water, anything to get her vision back._

_Finally, some hope. Lena was starting to see more. The shadow was taking form. It changed and morphed from blob to humanoid. It was much closer than Lena anticipated. The image cleared all at once. It was indeed a human figure before her, their face pressed in almost perfect alignment against hers. Lena’s breath caught in her throat, her eyes grew wide, and they burned under the lights._

\\\\\\\

“Alex,” he spoke lowly, “she needs your help. Supergirl is still occupied and I don’t think she will be able to hold on for that long.”

Alex finally looked back at the tablet. Lena was still curled into herself on the ground, her body was still.

“She stopped crying,” Alex whispered, “that’s a good sign right?”

She was trying to talk herself out of going to check on her, Brainy couldn’t let that happen.

“She may have stopped crying but her heart rate has increased,” Brainy said trying to keep his voice even but failing.

Alex looked over to him now, his brows were pulled together in concentration and his eyes were locked on the tablet in her hands. Alex looked back at her sisters’ feed – torn. Brainy leaned over again.

“Come on,” he said “they’ll be fine but I don’t think Lena will.”

Alex moved then. She and Brainy flew down the stairs to the lab that had been set aside for Lena. The usual clear glass, now in locked down, was blacked-out and dark so no one happening by would be able to see in.

“How can you tell her heart beat is up? I don’t have vital monitors on my office cams,” Alex questioned as they did a quick walk down the hallway.

“I counted the time in between the rise and fall of her shoulders. It is beating almost twice as fast as it should be.”

The two slowed down outside of Alex office. “I’ll go in first, have a med team on standby. Hopefully I can calm her and get her to walk down to sick bay but-“

Brainy cut in “I was wrong! Alex, she –she’s going into cardiac arrest!”

Alex slammed her hand on the access pad and pushed through the double doors. Brainy followed her in standing behind her as she dropped to her knees in front of Lena. Alex smoothed some of the hair out of her face. The younger girl’s body was ridged, frozen in a cramped fetal position, her fingers locked in the shape of gnarled claws. Lena was taking slow laboring breaths, these were different from the short pants that accompanied her sobbing but they still didn’t allow for much air. A choked gurgled sounded from her throat.

“Get a medic in here!” Alex yelled; she spoke softly to Lena trying to get her to relax her body to no avail.

She then tried to moved Lena’s hands away from where they were braced in front of her face but found that Lena’s muscles were clenched and immobile. A gurney arrived; Alex debated for half a second before throwing the tablet aside and gathering Lena in her arms. She scooped the girl up and placed her as gently as she could on the medical bed. Alex, Brainy and two members of the medical staff boarded the elevator and ascended to the med floor. They wheeled her bed into an examination room and began hooking her up to various machines. An incessant beeping immediately began to sound, critical alerts flashed across a number of panels. Alex looked Lena over; she took notice of her eyes which must have been open the entire time, they were red tinted and glazed over.

She worked quickly; sanitizing an area of skin on Lena’s hip before injecting her with a sedative. For a moment nothing happened, Lena’s body was still folded on itself, her eyes were still open slowly leaking tears, and she still took pseudo deep breaths. Alex chewed on her lip; she didn’t know what else to do. She leaned across the edge of the bed going to grab one of Lena’s hands but hesitated and allowed it to fall into the empty space between them.

“Lena,” she whispered, “Lena, I-I’m right here. We’re right here.”

Alex held her breath starting to berate herself; of course Lena couldn’t hear her. She stood to her full height, preparing to turn away. Lena gurgled again then sucked in a breath. Her lungs expanded as she choked down the oxygen hungrily. She released the breath with a low sigh and they watched as the tension oozed from her limbs, they eased from their captive position with a click and pop. Lena’s chin rose gently, fidgeting this way and that. Alex reacted, slipping a hand across her cheek and cupping her chin. Lena sighed in content and her body went limp.

“Heart attack? But she- she’s taking deep breaths and shows signs of active pupil dilation?” Alex questioned allowed.

“I believe what we’ve seen is one of Lena’s self-soothing techniques gone awry.”

“Explain.” Alex demanded beginning to seethe over her previous hesitation.

“She once advised me on a way of dealing with complicated or distracting emotions. She suggested burying them in small boxes deep within my mind. A method of extreme compartmentalization that will inevitably result in full dissociation, a method Lena has practiced from a young age. Forcing such all-consuming emotion to conform in this way would take a tremendous amount of control and concentration; I think that is what she was trying to do, slow down her heart enough to stow the emotions away, to deny feeling but something went wrong.”

\\\\\\\

_Her heart beat picked up, calm be damned. Lena threw her body backwards, forcing herself away from the glass. Her cage didn’t allow her much in the way of escape. Metal scraped and groaned as she continued to push her shoulders back, the jagged pieces bit into her. There was a shuddering clunk and the glass splintered. Her cage must be independent from its surroundings, from the larger room she appeared to be in. If she couldn’t break out perhaps she could shake the figure from where it lent against her prison door._

_Lena stole herself against the pain and jostled her shoulders once again. The glass creaked; the figures’ weight didn’t help the situation as it fell further forward closer to Lena. More of her unwanted guest’s face light up under her fluorescent halo. Lena started to panic. She moved her arms erratically gasping for air, screaming for help. She clawed at the walls for purchase allowing the jagged metal to slice deep into her flesh. She struggle to lift herself higher, if she could just reach the light she could find a way out -she was sure of it. Shards of glass fell scraping her jaw and neck as they sprinkled around her. The body fell further, getting closer to Lena. It was coming after her. He was going to get her; he was going to hurt her just as he promised he would._

_She was in hysterics now. She had managed to work her way up almost to eye level, he always prided himself on how much taller he was. Her kidnapper had taken her shoes, she was too small - she was always too small when it came to him. The glass was cutting into his face now too. He didn’t pull away from it like Lena did, not when the pieces pulled his skin away from muscles and exposed bone. They made eye contact, it was quick. Lena pulled her eyes away, trying to concentrate on anything else, like how much blood she was losing. Her stomach clenched, she could taste the acid. She looked at him again. His expression was relaxed, cut to hell and bloody but calm. It was almost serene. Maybe Lena could pretend, maybe she could lose herself just a little, give herself over to delusion for just a while –just to get through this. Her screams tapered off, her pleading lessened. Yes, maybe he was just playing a game; just a cruel trick._

_A piece of glass punctured his eye; it embedded itself deep into the rings of blue. Blood and ocular fluid spattered across Lena’s face, trailing across her cheeks and dribbling onto her lips. The acid that had been steadily building in her stomach billowed up and out, burning her throat._

_Her vision started to go black. She felt fire course up the length of her arms and then, suddenly, she was on top of her cage; her torso slung over its edge, her legs dangled freely, useless and dead asleep in the open space she once occupied. In quick flashes she saw herself ripping her arms past the broken metal and making it to the light. She’d broken it with her fists and pushed the panel aside, ripping away generator wires and squeezing through the subsequent hole._

**“Lena.”**

_Someone was calling her name_.

**“Lena, I-I’m here.”**

_Who was calling her?_ _She looked down. The adrenaline had left her body; her blood ran in cold rivers plinking against metal._

**“We’re right here.”**

_That voice again; did she know that voice? Lena was exhausted but she knew she needed to pull herself all the way out. She needed to find that voice, maybe it could tell her the way out. But she couldn’t look away from him, she was so tired and so frightened but she couldn’t look away._

_“Come on Lena, move. Come on!” Lena grunted to herself as best she could. She reached a ragged arm out searching for the voice. Darkness lay before her but there was warmth coming from within it. The smile cut into Lex’s ashen skin burned in her mind._

\\\\\\\

“Alex!” she flinched, her unoccupied hand flew to her com. “I’m here, are you alright?”

“The fires are contained,” Nia said gleefully, “J’onn is on his way with the shifter and Kara and I are bringing an accomplice.”

“Th-thank you Nia, I’ll see you all soon.” She pulled the bud from her ear, tucking it into the pocket on her shirt.

“Shit,” Alex hissed, “shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Damn it.”

“Alex,” Brainy tried.

“They’re on their way back with, uh, two, uh, two perps. I should, they’ll need me to, uh.” Alex huffed out in a stutter, brushing her finger roughly over her eyebrow.

“You can go. Whatever was happening with Lena has stopped, at least for now. The sedative has taken effect and I have an alert for her vitals set at the highest priority. You can go.”

Brainy rested a tentative hand on Alex’ shoulder hoping to impart some strength back into the Director, he admired her but did not envy her position.

She gave him a nod, “I can go.”

Alex looked down at Lena, slipping her hand out from under her chin. She pulled the blankets a little higher and tucked them closer to the back of her neck, not wanting the constant chill of the DEO to wake her. Then she turned and left the med bay, she moved down the hall quickly – refusing to look back, to second guess. She’d climbed the staircase and just made it back to the command center when a breeze swept the room. She rounded a corner pausing as the edges of Kara’s red cape fluttered in the distance. She rubbed a hand through the cropped hairs on the back of her head.

Kara having heard Alex coming turned to face her, a smile had bloomed across her sun kissed cheeks illuminating two crystal blue pools. Kara glanced over her sister, checking for injuries. She found uneven slightly slumped shoulders, an uneven gait and shifting eyes.

Alex watched Kara’s smile melt and her face fill with clouds. ~~~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello.  
> So, a few things:  
> -drink some water, I just had some  
> -eat something, I ate today  
> -don't cry over the bullshit, I've cried enough in the last hour for the both of us  
> \- wtf is the show right now? No clue? Me either, haven't known for a while. All I do know is that it has made me upset for the last time so I'm just, like, not going to watch it anymore? I've been off of Instagram (my algorithm is ALL Sg) for over a month so it won't be that hard to ignore it and live only in the world of fanfiction where people actually care about and want what's best for each other  
> \- I made changes to the previous chapters since I don't have to try and keep up with cannon any more so go back and take a look at those or this chapter may be a little confusing  
> \- I want to interact with whoever is taking the time to read this more because my life is small and sad and isolation due to this virus has made it smaller and sadder so please comment, even if it has nothing to do with this story honestly I have just come to the understanding that I crave attention but don't know how to respond to it so bare with me 
> 
> Wow. Thanks for sitting through that annoying stuff, if you did. 
> 
> Tl;dr: Be nice to yourself, there are previous chapter changes, CW cannon makes me cry, someone love me, enjoy this new stuff.

Alex dropped her hand away from the cheek it had been cradling; she slipped the swab into a sterile tube and sealed it up in a bag. She avoided looking directly at the girl on the medical bed in front of her. Those gleaming eyes of hers worked some powerful magic. Alex stood from her stool and made a big show of double checking that all the samples had been labeled and stored correctly. She could feel Lena staring daggers into her back. Alex closed the medical file after checking the list of samples for a final time. With nothing left to do she let the examination room fall silent.

_Sniff, sniff._

Silence; Alex’ shoulders stiffened.

_Sniff, sniff._

She turned slightly, as slowly as she could, until she could just see Lena out of the corner of her eye. Lena’s usual ivory tone was slashed with crimson, it colored her cheeks, ears, neck, and the tip of her nose. Alex made the mistake of looking at the rest of her face. Her tears rolled miserably; green eyes shone _that much brighter_ as her shoulders leapt and shuddered in an attempt to control the sobs. Alex watched as Lena clasped her hands together, her nails cut into her knuckles. If she looked close enough, Alex could see a black and blue tinge begin to pucker up around the pads of her fingers.

“I-is,” Lena’s voice wavered; it was small and desperate- fearful. “Is she…d-does she not want me anymore?”

Lena dropped her head clenching her eyes shut; she brought her tangled hands up and pulled them roughly into her chest. The resounding thwack startled Alex. She cried out at the impact but took no time before doing to again. Three times, four; then Alex was moving, throwing her arms out to grab Lena’s wrists. She squeezed as tight as she dared.

“She’s here!” Alex tried not to scream. She loosened her grip a little. “She’s here, she hasn’t left. She just-“Alex sighed, “she’s just scared. But she is here.” Lena’s head shook back and forth slowly so she stopped trying to explain.

Two days had passed since Lena woke up in the med bay. Alex had done her best to make sure the girl was comfortable as they ran tests but she had been unable to give Lena everything she asked for.

Alex soothed Lena the best she could, trying to coax her back into the lush pillows behind her. She went easily, turning to curl up on her side and pull her hands from Alex’. Alex moved to trail her fingers across Lena’s cheek, it was painfully red, but she hesitated unsure. Instead she pulled her blankets up around her again and gathered up the samples. She didn’t look at Lena again as she headed for the door, but she stopped and turned to her before leaving.

“I’ll get her to come, Lena. I promise.”

\\\\\\\

_“I promise.”_

Kara held her breath and tried to control her frustration. Anger at her own inability to act rose within her again. She redirected her attention before she lost control, looking out over the DEO’s command center. She followed the agents as they went about their business and got a little lost in flashing lights on computer screens. There were a couple of newer agents coming from the direction of the training rooms, some of them wore smiles while others were laughing and shoving each other. Kara could feel her eyes starting to water.

“I don’t think Alex would appreciate it if you broke that.”

Kara jumped and looked down at her hands. She didn’t remember grabbing Alex’s pyramid paper weight but quickly dropped it either way. It landed with a thud, sinking into the dark rug. She winced at the light thumb print visible on its side. J’onn chuckled and Kara shot him a quick smile. She tried to keep it up but let it drop before huffing out in exhaustion. J’onn didn’t say anything for a while, the two of them stood shoulder to shoulder staring out Alex’ office window. It reminded Kara of times she and J’onn would stand like this when he was still Director, when she was still Cat’s assistant and when Lena, well –

“You still haven’t gone to see her I hear.” J’onn’s soothing baritone brought Kara out of her reverie.

“I-I will,” she said hesitantly “I just needed to wrap up a few things.”

“Hmm.” He paused to cross his arms over his chest. “She has been asking Alex for you.”

Kara bounced uncertainly on her feet for a while. J’onn stood patiently, giving Kara the time she needed to gather herself. She readjusted her stance and turned to him, arms akimbo.

“J’onn-“The Martian stopped her.

“Kara do you care about Lena?” she looked at him strangely.

“Of course I do, J’onn. How can you ask me that?”

“Mhm and do you want her to get better? To avoid situations like this in the future?” he asked his questions quickly, staring straight ahead. “Are you willing to aid her in that journey?”

“O-of course. Why-“he stopped Kara again.

“Then why do you insist on staying away from her when your presence is clearly something she believes will help her?” Kara was speechless.

J’onn jerked his head in frustration, letting his arms drop. “Whether or not you agree with that fact it remains true; Lena stands a better chance of fully recovering with you around than without. Do not deprive her.”

He turned from her and took long strides to the door. He called over his shoulder as he passed under the doorway.

“El Mayarah, Supergirl.”

Kara didn’t turn to him. She let her body tip forward; she let her forehead rest on her right arm braced against the cool glass window. She took several quick breathes through her mouth then snapped her jaw shut. She stood upright, wiping her palms down the thighs of the grey sweatpants she’d changed into. She brushed her fingers under her eyes and across her cheeks, removing miles of tear tracks. Then she was out of Alex’s office, down three flights of stairs and through several dimmed hallways, only stopping outside of Lena’s medical room. Alex stood at the other end of the hall; Kara had blown past her and had the door open before she could call out to her.

Lena had sunk deep into thick fluffy pillows. The IV given to her when she first arrived was gone, in its place a thin strip of blue tape. Kara could see a heart monitor peeking out from under the collar of her sweater. She stopped just inside the door, too afraid to keep walking. She eyed the tray resting to the side of Lena’s bed, it held an uneaten muffin and unopened juice box – standard DEO medical breakfast. It was almost 3 o’clock. Kara clenched her jaw.

“Kara?” Lena whispered.

“I’m-I’m so sorry Lee,” she breathed.

Lena looked away from Kara. She was so upset Kara had stayed away. She had been so worried something had happened to her or that she had done something to make Kara upset with her. She picked at her nail beds waiting for Kara to either come closer or leave again.

“C-can I,” Kara gestured to the edge of Lena’s bed.

Lena hesitated before reaching an arm out toward her. Kara almost tripped over her feet as she tried to get closer. She snaked her arms up Lena’s back and gently pulled her into her chest. They held each other, Kara whispering her apologies and Lena offering up soft reprimands for her leaving. They held each other until Lena’s back got tired and she sagged heavily against Kara. The Kryptonian shifted them around until her back rested against the pillows and Lena was nestled comfortably on top of her. Lena rubbed her face into the dark pull over Kara wore sighing heavily and letting herself fall asleep. Kara laid there listening to Lena breathe and feeling her weight on top of her. She buried her fingers in her hair, scratching gently at her scalp. Everything would be alright, for now, for right now, they would be ok.

\\\\\\\

Alex glanced up the stairwell and then down to make sure she was alone. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and hit the third speed dial. It rang twice before picking up.

“Aly,” Sam eased out. “How are you?”

“Sam, hey. I uh, I’ve just taken some more samples from Lena and thought you would want to be in the loop.”

“Do you know why she is avoiding me now?”

“Babe,” Alex huffed. “I told I would tell you if she let anything slip. Kara’s finally gone in to see her and I don’t know I just want to give them a minute.”

Sam was quiet on the other line for a while. Alex knew she was upset; Lena’s cold shoulder had been all Sam could talk about lately, especially since Alex told her what Kara had mentioned. They hadn’t had a chance to reconnect alone since Kara found Lena and Sam’s patience was reaching her limit. She was used to the young heiress being warm and open with her, always seeking her affection and needing her support; now, Sam felt she was being passed over in favor of Kara. Rationally Sam knew that Lena wasn’t replacing her, that Lena would never, but, being so far from her and unable to give her the help she needed made Sam feel worthless.

“Listen Sammy,” Alex spoke as gently as she could. “She’ll reach out when she’s ready. From what I’ve seen she’s barely keeping herself together at this point.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Alex hesitated; she hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Kara about it yet. “I don’t, I haven’t gotten to talk to Kara about it yet and she-“

“Alexandra Marie Danvers, you tell me now or I swear-“

“Ok!” a chill ran down Alex’s spine at Sam’s tone of voice. “She had, well; I guess it was a fit earlier.”

“A fit?”

“Don’t be like that, I don’t know what you would call it,” Alex said exasperated. “All I know is that one second she was asking me whether or not Kara _wanted her_ anymore then she was trying to break her collar bone-“

“What?!”Sam exploded on the phone. Alex had to move her phone away from her ear to save herself from the shrieks.

“Babe, calm down, I stopped her but-“

Alex could hear some scuffling over the phone.

“Sam?” There was no response. “Sam? Are you there,” Alex tried again.

She was met with silence before a voice rasped out “I’m on my way”. The line went dead and Alex stared down at her darkened phone. She stood silent in the stairwell trying to think of what to do next. There was no way she could stop Sam from going in to see Lena and no way to know how Kara would react. Her sister had been wary about Sam since they’d gotten rid of Reign. She trusted her, just not much, and right now Alex wasn’t sure Kara would trust her at all around Lena.

Alex didn’t know what to do. She wanted to be mad at Lena for making her life so difficult so suddenly but she knew it wasn’t her fault. She wanted to be mad at her sister and her girlfriend for coddling the Luthor so much but she knew it was probably what she needed. Ultimately she wanted to be mad at herself because as a medical professional she knew Lena must have gotten the DEO lead assigned to her case to falsify her results, Alex should have gone back to double check the tests.

Alex backed up to the edge of the steps and sat down heavily. She didn’t know what to do and it was scaring her. She was used to control, reliant on being the one able to organize her life and to some extent Kara’s. Alex looked down at her phone again and dialed the one person she could count on no matter what, the one person she knew Kara would listen to, and the one she figured could help Lena more than she could. The line rang and Alex held her breath, releasing it slowly. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

“Hi honey, I was just thinking about you.”

“Mom? I need your help.”

\\\\\\\

Winn chuckled at Brainy as the two stepped off the elevator arms laden with sandwiches and pastries.

“I still am not sure what was so comical about the whole thing,” Brainy said clearly perturbed.

“He wasn’t saying he was a raging cannibal just that you looked good.”

“But what does my outward appearance have to do with whether or not I am edible. That man cannot seriously thing that commenting on digestibility is a complementary.”

Winn sat his boxes down in the breakroom kitchen before grabbing a plain donut and walking out to the command center. As he sat in his chair and prepared to explain circumstances to Brainy once again, the elevator chimed and the doors opened. Sam strode quickly across the room heading down the hall.

“Hey Sam,” Winn called to her. “Brainy just got called a snack and he-“

Sam hadn’t stopped. She didn’t look at them or make any sign that she had heard Winn. She was all business as she navigated her way to the medical bay. Winn and Brainy sat in confusion until a second later when Alex can running through past them, heading down the same hallway Sam did.

“Should we do something?” Brainy asked, worried.

“No,” Winn huffed. “Trust me, when we’re able to help they’ll let us know. Right now I think we’d just be in the way.”

Brainy sat in a chair next to Winn and picked at his own sweet treat, trepidation flooding his system.

\\\\\\\

Sam moved quickly, she didn’t stop to answer questions from oncoming agents or to turn and answer her girlfriend who was calling out to her. She didn’t stop until she made it to Lena’s assigned section of the hangar-like room. She watched Kara and Lena from the window for a while, waiting for Alex to catch up to her. Lena’s eyes were closed. She still lay curled up on top of Kara, her hands snuck comfortably under Kara’s pullover. Kara lay with her hands wrapped around Lena’s back, running over her spine gently. She had her head turned towards the window where Sam stood, watching her.

“Sam-“Alex had reached her.

“Open the door.”

“Maybe we should-“

“Open the door, Alex. Please.”

Alex connected her eyes with Kara’s briefly and picked up her small head nod, of course she was listening. She tried to get Sam to look at her but when she wouldn’t she placed her hand on the scanner by the door and waited as it confirmed her identity and slid open.

“Sam-“

Sam walked in without letting Alex finish. She walked right up to the edge of the bed and sat slowly in the black plastic chair placed there. Kara didn’t speak to her, she just watched as Sam settled in and looked over Lena. Lena made some noise, flipping her head left and right against Kara’s shoulder, probably picking up on some of the tension in the room. Kara squeezed her a little closer and pressed a kiss to her head until she calmed and drifted off again.

“She’s ok now,” Kara said a while later. “She’s asked for you.”

Sam’s head snapped to her at that. “Why did no one tell me? When-“

“She wasn’t awake,” Kara said quickly while trying to keep her voice down. “It was after a nightmare last week. She was calling for you, but when I woke her up and asked if she wanted you to come over, she didn’t.”

Sam’s shoulders fell. “She doesn’t hate you,” Kara assured her. “She needs you-“

“Then why-“

“She’s scared,” Kara paused a minute. “She thinks you will think badly of her now.”

“What?”

“She needs you more, needs all of us more than she has ever needed anyone before. She needs the space to be vulnerable and scared and small and she just didn’t- she didn’t think that was something you’d be ok with.”

Sam was on her feet in a flash. “I have always taken care of her, _always._ There is nothing- I would never- She could never do anything to make me not want to, no one could. How could she-“

“Lillian,” Kara whispered. “It’s all Lillian.”

Sam sat again reaching out a hand to brush at Lena’s leg; she hesitated before touching her and let her hand fall to the blanket instead.

“Wh-what did she do to her?”

Kara looked away from Sam sheepishly.

“Please, Kara,” Sam begged. “I can’t wait for her to tell me. I gotta know. I can’t- just, please.”

\\\\\\\

_Kara landed in a crouch, kicking up dust around her._

_"Alex!” she yelled into her earpiece. “There’s nothing here but sand.”_

_“That’s not right,” Alex muttered. “This says you should be right on top of her.”_

_“Well she’s not here!” Kara continued to shout. “She’s not here! Nothing is! We’ve wasted time, I should’ve gone to Metropolis to find Lex-“_

_“Supergirl!” Brainy cut in as Alex tried to make sense of her scans. “I believe the signal is coming from_ beneath _you.”_

_“What?”_

_“Shit he’s right Kar,” Alex said solemnly. “I think the signal means she’s under you right now.”_

_They were met with silence. “Kara?” Alex asked hesitantly._

_“Woah!” Winn’s yell came distantly over Alex’ earpiece and she spun around to face him._

_“Schott! What the-“_

_"We’ve got a major amount of seismic activity out in the Gobi. The closest earthquake research station is picking up a 4.3. They’re tracking the epicenter to over 80 miles away, saying it must have reached somewhere around 9.1. Is that-“_

_“Someone get me a drone in the sky, I want to see what she is doing!”_

_The screens in front of Alex, Winn and Brainy all switched to an aerial view of the area where Kara landed. The drone whizzed in circles around a huge sand storm. At its center was Kara, hunched over and slamming her fists repeatedly into the ground._

_“Kara!”_

_She didn’t listen to her sister and continued to beat the earth carving a crater beneath her feet. Finally something gave way and dropped Kara into a cavern beneath the rock._

_“Kara?”_

_“Alex,” Kara coughed. “It’s some kind of cave? Or, wait is that a- what?”_

_The drone followed Kara underground and showed the rest of the DEO what she could see. The area around her had been dug out. A long tunnel shot off into the darkness to her left and again to her right. The drone flashed a little light down the tunnels but didn’t move away from Kara to investigate. In the sphere shaped room ahead of her sat a large shipping container. It was the only thing in that area of the quasi-cave._

_Kara moved slowly toward the container, ignoring her sister’s insistent nagging through the earpieces._

_“Alex if you don’t shut up I’m going to turn this thing off,” Kara bit out._

_She needed to concentrate. She continued to move slowly forward, her eyes swept the ground around the container for any signs of traps. She tried to keep her breathing even and her steps metered. She pushed her hearing to its limit but got nothing from the container. She tried to see through it but was blocked- lead._

_“Alex, its lead. I’ve gotta go inside.”_

_“Wait for backup Kar, they’re almost there.”_

_Kara looked at the drone with a dead-panned expression and shook her head. She walked towards the large door of the container and laid a hand on the metal. The vibrations from within told her something inside the container was running on a generator, a machine was on in there. She pressed her ear to the side of the metal, through which she could hear a faint beeping. Kara held her breath, hoping that if Lena was on the other side she would feel her somehow and back away from the door. She stole herself for another second, then braced, and pulled the door from its hinges._

_The hydraulics on the door snapped and popped as they were torn apart, sending a shower of sparks spraying. The container was dark inside, lit only by various flashing lights on a control panel and a dimly lit metal locker leaning in tatters along the back wall. There was someone resting against the outside of the locker, their head hung through the small window on its front. Kara recoiled at the smell coming from inside. She had to put a hand over her nose as she approached the locker, filth and sick was everywhere._

_She touched the body leaning into the window, it was cold._

_“Alex, someone is hurt-“Kara gasped as she pulled the body upright._

_“-ra? Can you hear me? Who’s hurt?” Alex was a little frantic._

_“I-it’s Lex.” Kara laid him on the ground and the drone circled his head giving Alex and the DEO a nice look at his shredded face._

_Kara turned from Lex and went over to the control panel, if Lena wasn’t here then there had to be a clue to where she was. Kara started looking at the papers pinned to the wall and strewn across the table top. There were pictures of Lena, in some she was half clothed and strapped to a wooden table, in others she was covered in electrodes and chained to a chair, and still in others Lena laid on a metal slab while a number of masked persons stood over her cracked chest. There were notes that made references to serum side effects and which punishments yield which results. There were charts and lists that tracked the amount of food withheld and the ways in which Lena had tried to get away._

_Kara was looking at some of the x-rays tapped to the wall, ones that showed shattered and poorly reconstructed bone, when she caught a movement in the corner of her eye. She’d been so distracted with the papers that she hadn’t picked up the other heartbeat – the lead hadn’t helped either. She moved easily, using her speed to ‘appear’ on the opposite side of the container just in front of a small wooden table. She bent her knees and slid into a squat. She kept her movements quick and concise incase whoever was under the table was a threat._

_As soon as her face cleared the edge and looked at the person underneath, she froze. Lena’s eyes were open wide, so wide it looked painful. She had her head turned away from Kara but watched her out of the corner of her eye, her pupils looked like they’d exploded. Her shoulders were pitched high around her ears but her arms lay ragged at her sides. Kara looked her over, she was covered in blood and her legs splayed oddly in front of her. It dawned on Kara then that what she saw was Lena trying to pull one of her legs under the table. Kara looked at her again. She was saying something. Kara leaned closer._

_“Lee, Lena I’m so happy to see you,” Kara said while trying to get under the table too._

_Lena pushed herself closer to the wall, further from Kara. She pushed her face into the metal of the container and continued to mutter._

_“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t understand you,” Kara tried to come under again._

_Lena howled then, she threw herself backwards against the side of the container, banging her head in the process. The force of her body meeting the metal caused more blood to flow, it made her squeal. The high keens that left her throat curdled Kara’s blood._

_"Ka-ra,” Lena gurgled. Kara could barely make it out but she heard it._

_“Yes, it’s me Lee,” Kara didn’t dare move._

_Lena didn’t seem to hear her. She continued to call Kara’s name, getting louder and louder until finally she was screaming her name between gasping sobs. It was a mess and Kara didn’t know how to calm her. If she could just get her arms around her, get her out of this stinking pit, then it would be alright, then Lena could see it was her. But every time she got close, every time she thought she could slip under the table and get behind her, Lena sensed it and she retaliated. Kara couldn’t see how badly she was hurt but the sick slick splat of her blood soaked clothes against the metal was enough for her to know they needed to get out of there quickly._

_Lena was in full hysterics seconds later. She’d gone from screaming Kara’s name to just screaming and Kara couldn’t take it anymore._

_“What do I do, Alex?” she cried. “Help me!”_

_“Back up will be there twenty minutes, Kar. I- you didn’t take any of the sedatives with you and this isn’t a Medi-drone. I’m sorry-“_

_Kara snatched out the earpiece, aggravated. She looked at Lena whose chest rose rapidly as she fought for air. They didn’t have time to wait, Kara wouldn’t make Lena wait._

_“I’m sorry Lena,” she whispered before crawling under the table._

_She ignored the way Lena yelled and pulled her out from where she hid. She wrapped her in her cape and wiped as much blood away from her face as possible. Then Kara used her breath to blow ice cold air into her face. It stole the rest of her air and caused her to pass out. Kara sat with Lena in her arms, sobbing into the silence until she could hear the rumble of DEO helicopters on approach._

\\\\\\\

“She was asleep for a couple days after we got back,” Kara sniffled and scrunched her nose. “When she finally woke up it took me another few days to convince her she wasn’t dead, sometimes I’m still not sure she believes it.”

Sam sat with her head hung low, crying softly.

“How could- how could they?” Sam cried.

“That’s not something I think we will ever be able to understand,” Alex said as she walked into the room and stood behind Sam.

She leaned down to wrap her arms around Sam and rested her chin on her head.

“Lillian is a vile, vile woman and we can’t pretend that this happened for any other reason than that.”

The three of them sat in silence watching Lena sleep. Alex looked at her girlfriend and her sister. Both had tears on their cheeks and bags under their eyes. In that moment Alex knew she made the right choice.

“Lena’s mother did this to her,” Alex said seriously. “She did this to her daughter and we all know this wasn’t the first time. I don’t think being in National City will help her.”

“I won’t send her away to some hospital, Alex!”

“She needs us, we can’t abandon her now!”

Kara and Sam both spoke at the same time, one on top of the other.

“I know you goofs,” Alex huffed. “I was not suggesting that we admit her or leave her somewhere.”

“Then what?” Kara asked grumpily; she was tired but warm under Lena and just wanted to sleep.

“I- I called mom,” Alex said finally.

“You what?” Kara whisper yelled.

“I didn’t give her all the details but I told her enough and she agrees with me, Lena should go to Midvale. So far you’ve been doing this on your own Kara and it’s, it’s not getting any better,” Alex reasoned.

Kara looked upset.

“It’s not a bad thing, Kara,” Alex sighed. “I’m just saying this is the stick that broke the camels’ back with Lena, alright. The kids had a lifetime of trauma and it’s finally coming to a head. Like you said she’s been distracting herself, in fact I think you all have.”

Sam and Kara looked at her with surprise.

“Go ahead and try to deny it,” she laughed.

“You,” she said pointing at Sam. “Haven’t been sleeping properly and overworking yourself because you are worried about Lena and L-Corp and missing Ruby. And you,” she said pointing to Kara. “Haven’t been eating properly and second guessing yourself on Supergirl duty which has led to you making more mistakes than usual and putting yourself in danger.

Both women looked away from Alex with misplaced shame.

“You are two of the most wonderful women I’ve ever met but you’re also idiots that need to be told when to look after themselves.”

“Hey,” Sam called.

Alex threw up a hand in surrender, “I’m an idiot too; I’m not saying I’m immune.” She laughed, “But I think the best thing we can give Lena right now is some stability and the space to explore all that pent up emotion, not just brush it aside in favor of new tech. Mom’s place will allow us all to rest, to heal.”

“All?” Kara asked; her eyebrows rose.

“Yes, all,” Alex said. “You, me, Sam, and Lena. All of us. Nia and the boys have agreed to cover as many calls as they can and will only reach out to us when they need to. And with mom and Sam at the house Lena will be surrounded by the support she needs when we have to go.”

“I don’t know Al,” Kara started.

“Kara, Lena needs mom. She needs her like you did.”

Kara and Alex watched each other, sharing secret memories and long forgotten moments. Finally Kara ceded, giving Alex a few jerky nods and a shaky smile.

“When do we leave?” she asked.


End file.
